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Probably the first thing a couple does when they get engaged is relish the feeling of commitment. Treasure this.
But pretty soon, there are some action items that need to be taken care of.
You need to tell your parents and his, preferably both of you together. Traditionally, the bride’s parents are told first, but this is not a requirement any more.
It’s a really good idea to purchase a journal. You’re going to have tons of memories in the next few months, and a journal is a way to keep those memories alive years after the wedding is over.
Have an engagement party. This doesn’t have to be over-the-top, but you will want to let your friends in on the celebration. Along with the engagement party, have announcements printed in local newspapers, mail announcements to friends and family, and create an engagement website.
Set a date as soon as possible. You’ll feel more “engaged” when you have what Dr. Laura likes to refer to as “a ring and a date.”
You’ve got to set a tone for the wedding. Is it going to be formal or informal? Are you going to have a religious or secular ceremony?
Also, you need to set the parameters for budget. If you and your fiancé are paying the bill, you need to look at what you can realistically afford. Think about your long term financial goals and decide what is really important to you. If someone else is sharing the bill, you need to talk to them frankly about what their limits are – and respect them.
You need to choose your attendants and get them involved in supporting you right away. There are likely some friends or relatives who you “must” choose, but where you can, select people who can actually help you carry the load.
Along those lines, talk straight with the principles about how much they can contribute in terms of time. If you are busy with work or school and can’t do extensive planning and others don’t want to split the load, you may want to think about hiring a wedding planner at this stage.
Finally, start looking at venues for the wedding ceremony and reception immediately. Popular venues are booked months in advance, so you don’t want to leave this crucial step until it’s too late.
But the most important thing to remember is that this is supposed to be a romantic and fun time in your life. Take time to delight in each step. And also remember to take time to enjoy each other. Let the wedding planning process cement your bond.
Ahhh, jumping the broom. It’s not for everyone, but it’s manageable if you have the right information. ‘It is clear from the relationship issues we have in our society, that none of us have all the answers. If we did, no one would need advice. However, as you contemplate tying the knot, take a moment to contemplate the essence of your relationship. Some of the same things that brought you together are necessary to keep you together, so don’t lose track of what they are. Love translates into many things; take the time to figure out what they are. Everyone, yes I said everyone, has needs. Do you know your partner’s primary needs for the relationship? If you have not discussed the deal breakers, you are heading for potholes on your path together. Deal with it sooner rather than later.
It’s so much easier to play the field while you’re single, instead of getting married and deciding you want to see a whole lot of other people. Seems like this would be easy to figure out, right? Well, apparently it’s not. Some people don’t realize the big mess they’ve created until it’s way too late and they’re unable to come back from it. Can you say: Alimony, monthly child-support payments and a second job to support yourself? Not to mention various sexually transmitted diseases, some fatal.
*Marry someone you are also friends with.
Declare to spend the rest of your life with someone who really likes you as a person, not just as a sexual partner. Sometimes, sex will be nonexistent for short periods of time (pregnancy, illness). If you and your better half like each other, as well as love each other, the foundation that was built on friendship will be more than enough to get you through those rough patches. Besides, being best friends with your spouse makes marriage so much more fun!
*Don’t put your spouse on a pedestal
Everyone makes mistakes, so leave room for plenty of them. If you’re looking for the perfect spouse and marriage you’re probably living in a fantasy world. Simple rules apply in our vows, but we all act a little human sometimes and vows become the hardest thing in the world to stick to. This is to be expected, so try not to come down too hard on your other half for not being a saint at all times and the two of you will be just fine.
*Leave the past in the past
Geez, are you still nagging about all those awful things that happened three years ago. Get over it. No one wants to hear the remix of how much of a jackass they used to be, especially when you all agreed to work it out and things are going great. If you just can’t stop bringing it up every five minutes, maybe it’s time to seek counseling. Otherwise, concentrate on the good things and push forward.
*Put your spouse and children first
Nothing is going to send you to divorce court faster than in-law drama. I know you want everyone to get along, but understand that you are not responsible for your mother, father or siblings happiness. Your main responsibility is to keep your house in order. If your parents and siblings can’t get with the program, be prepared to take a hiatus from them until they have learned to respect you and your mate. If something in them forbids them to do so, stay true to the one who really matters and that should be you. If you truly want a successful marriage, sometimes you have to learn to love from a distance.
*Never disrespect your home
You already know your family hates your husband/wife, so stop going to them and talking behind his or her back whenever you two have an argument. One, it just makes your family loathe your spouse even more and two, your marriage is on the wrong track if you’re pouring salt on your significant other. Also, keep your house a home by not having the wrong people coming and going. This is bad for any relationship, married or not. Keep the drama queen/king out of your house, they’re only looking to start trouble.
*Keep marital advice from someone who isn’t married to a minimum
Realistically, you probably shouldn’t take marital advice from someone who has never been married, just like you probably shouldn’t take childrearing advice from someone who doesn’t have kids. I know it sounds a little harsh, but it makes sense. Would you take flight instruction from someone who has never even had flight training? I wouldn’t. In my experience, my unmarried friends have never said anything that could help my marriage. (Sorry guys, I know you tried, but…) Personally, I like to seek advice from older, experienced couples. There is no better way to prepare for marital warfare, than to get guidance from someone who has already been in combat and survived.
*Support your husband or wife’s endeavors
Why do you shoot down every idea your sweetie comes up with? Will it really kill you to be supportive for once? No one will exist on a single thought for the rest of their lives. Realize that people grow and with growth comes change. It’s understandable your spouse has aspirations outside of going to work and paying bills. Is your opposing attitude holding him back from starting that small business? Are you laughing her away from her dream of becoming an actress? Be supportive of your life companion’s dreams because if it works out for them, it will really work out for you.
*Keep passion alive!
She used to wear sexy boy shorts while the two of you were dating, but since you’ve been married and had two children, all she’s worn to bed are her gigantic granny bloomers. He used to say something flattering to you every day, but now he barely notices you. These are common complaints and it can wreak havoc in a marriage. Life is busy and we all get weary from our day-to-day affairs, but just remember to take a little time out to spoil your spouse every once in a while. Let them know that you haven’t forgotten about them and you appreciate all of their efforts. Show them that you are still the person they fell in love with even though life can get in the way. Your partner will surely return the favor.
Talk to your spouse everyday about something other than the kids, the house, and the bills. Even if you don’t spend a lot of time in the house together, a cell phone will solve that problem. Be sure to get some time to yourselves; go out on a date every once in a while or just snuggle on the couch and talk about constructive things. In my opinion, communication is the key to a successful marriage. Who wants to spend the rest of their life with someone who won’t even talk? Who wants to have a disagreement, but not be able to discuss it intelligently? I’m a huge fan of heated discussions. At least we’re communicating; not going in a room, slamming the door and stewing for hours. Let’s hash it out, get it over with and make up. And who doesn’t like making up? Wink.
Don’t forget to:
*Pray! … for and with each other. Pray every day for your marriage, your home and children. Prayer can bring reassurance and ease your mind when things go haywire. Do you know what would be even better? Pray together. You already know the saying, “the family that prays together, stays together!”
#weddings #marriage #divorce #matrimony #courthouse #courthousewedding #justmarried
It is wedding season again and many couples have been anticipating making a commitment for the second or maybe third time in their lives.:
Before making another step in marrying again, are you ready to experience again the consequences of living again with someone?
First, you must review the performance you made in your previous marriage. You will ask to yourself, how could I be a better spouse? Why did our union end in divorce? What really went wrong? What weaknesses do I still need to work on? many questions remained in your first marriage. So you must able to answer first all unending questions before thinking to marry again.
Second, know what you’re really looking for in a partner. Be sure of the character traits you want. Don’t force yourself to settle down just because you’re lonely and in dire need of a companion. Finally, let time answer your questions. Enjoy your freedom, at least for a moment and give yourself much time in finding your potential mate before you say “I do” again.
In entering another chapter in your life, second marriage is a very challenging obligation for you. Many different things are about to change in your everyday life when you finally decided to remarry. Freedom will be lost again. You must be prepared forthe new responsibility you will take on.
For marrying the second time around, there are lots of things to consider for making it a successful one. There are many situations you must be able to fully understand in order to cope with the differences with your new spouse. These are the following:
•EXPECTATIONS FOR A HEALTHY MARRIAGE
In the beginning of the second marriage, problems will not occur instantly. As a new couple, you are savoring your new found love. However, too many expectations may arise when one is to demanding to the other. This can be fixed if you can tell what your limitations are and what you can only do.
•REALISTIC APPROACH OF LOVE
This can be the best thing ever happened to the second marriage. Love must blossom unconditionally with respect. Give and take-this is for the equal releasing of feelings.
•POSITIVE ATTITUDE AND OUTLOOK IN LIFE
It may not be perfect at all, but happy in what you have. Do not force yourself in giving just to ensure the happiness on your spouse. You must be contented with the abilities and capabilities of your partner. Encourage your partner in giving his/her best in any other way.
•COMMUNICATING ABOUT FEELINGS
You must be open to what you really feel. Have the time to talk. This can help in keeping the flame alive. Listen to your partner. In listening you get what he/she wants to relate.
•UNDERSTANDING AND ACCEPTING DIFFERENCES
You may not be able to do everything, Understanding and accepting weaknesses are part of marriage. Humans are not perfect, so they imake mistakes. You must respect the little things he/she does.
•MAKING DECISIONS AND SETTLING ARGUMENTS
These kinds of situations are very crucial. It can make or break the relationship. In making decisions you must tell what you’re thinking. Possibly, accept your partner’s opinion. Settle your arguments in due time. Arguments are really mind busters. This may create gaps in the relationship.
•COMMON SPIRITUAL FOUNDATION AND GOAL
It may be good if both of you believe in the same religion doctrine. It can avoid debates on what are the right beliefs. A dream of a perfect family is one common goal. This can be done if both are very cooperative and serious. It can be a good foundation in the years to come. This can be the guiding force of making a successful relationship.
•COMBINING A FAMILY
What if your new spouse has a child or children in his/her previous marriage? You must know at least step-parenting skills. You are dealing with the emotions of their new environment. Be good to them as they are also important to your spouse’s life. Accept them as you accepted your partner. Make them also one of your main priorities.
In committing your life again to someone, make sure that you are really serious and prepared. Sacrifice and true love must be your agenda for marriage so it’s not taken for granted.
Here is to hoping your second marriage ia a successful and fruitful one.
Best wishes ,good luck and Many Blessings…
A person’s wedding is one of the most memorable, important, and high points in an individual’s life. At a time when a man and a woman want to make the ultimate commitment to spend the rest of their lives together, the desire to have personalized vows is certainly understandable. This is one of the most unique and special days in a person’s life, so if you want to speak your own personal wedding vows or promises, than by all means, you should go for it!
Writing your own vows can be intimidating. Wedding days always add pressure to even the most mundane of tasks, and certainly writing the vows you want to say to your significant other in front of all your friends and family is no small matter! Still, don’t let fear cause you to go along with some basic commonly used wedding vows if you really want that personalized touch. Just follow a few basic tips, and this will help you be on your way to writing the tips your future spouse deserves!
- Write from the heart. Your wedding day represents the epitome of love between you and your future spouse. The two of you are together for a reason. Anything you write should be honest and from your heart, because that is what will really make your words special.
- You don’t have to be Robert Frost or Emily Dickinson. If you are a poet, great. Keep in mind, though, that in the end words are just words. Your wedding vows do not have to be an amazing classic piece of literature—they need to be an honest display of your feelings for the other person. Don’t use long poetical words if all it does is put distance between your words and your feelings.
- It’s okay to brainstorm. Before you set down to write everything, make a list of the things about your spouse that you absolutely love about your spouse, then make a list of the commitments you want to make. Figure out what parts of those lists you really want to include (keep in mind the vows are read in front of families and friends) and keep those.
- Short and Sweet. It doesn’t take many words or a lot of time to make your heart known to everyone present. A lot can be said in a really short time, so don’t feel like you have to make the vows any longer than they naturally come out.
Follow these four tips, and you’ll find yourself getting over your worries to write some great wedding vows that your spouse will love!
Advice for a good marriage can in some cases seem a little obvious, but in a lot of cases it can seem like just the advice you need. When you are involved in a long term relationship, sometimes it’s hard to see the wood for the trees, and it takes only the most basic advice for us to see what is wrong. Check this article out for more information.
Advice for a good marriage 1
The best piece of advice is to be honest with yourself about when it is and isn’t working. If you kid yourself that everything is fine when it isn’t, things are hardly likely to get better-in fact you will usually notice things getting steadily worse. The sooner you spot and admit to problems, the sooner you can move past them. Half the work is done as soon as you admit something is wrong, so don’t be afraid.
Advice for a good marriage 2
Learn to communicate effectively. Too often relationships degenerate into accusations and fighting as the default method of interaction. Can you honestly hope for things to last if that’s how you both behave? If you have something under your skin, sit down and talk it out. Talking about things sensibly rarely makes things worse-unlike accusations and arguing!
Advice for a good marriage 3
Understand that you can’t fix the problems in your marriage solely fixing your partner’s behaviour. A marriage is exactly that-the joining of two people-so it’s not healthy to make one person do all the changing and adapting. This will not lead to a healthy relationship. It’s much better to sit and talk it out and then work out how you can both make things better for each other. It’s also a lot easier this way, as each of you will usually only need to make small adjustments to keep the other happy.
Advice for a good marriage 4
Learn the difference between being in love and falling in love. When you fall in love, the person can do no wrong and people are able to behave in ways that their partner may not necessarily agree with in a normal state of mind. That’s why it can take work to stay in love-the love is still there, but you can’t expect to act however you please and for it to still be there. Love is like a fire, it sometimes needs to be tended to make sure it still burns.
Advice for a good marriage 5
Understand the principles of marriage karma ,you- get -what -you -give, so if you go the extra yard for your partner and prove yourself to be kind, caring and considerate, the chances are they will act a lot more like that toward you too. Think about when you see couples that are really in love-it’s rarely just one of them doing the kind things is it?
Hopefully this advice for a good marriage will help you out. Give Chaplain Pat a call if you need coaching or just a little help to get on the same page.
Tradition and etiquette dictates that second weddings should be simple and casual instead of being formal and extravagant. However, the number of second or encore wedding is sharply growing each year. Such ceremony is designed to celebrate two people who want to embark on a new marriage with different partners.
Etiquette In Announcing Your Engagement
The immediate concern in planning a second wedding is how to announce this to you children. The children should always be the first be notified of your decision to remarry, as this will combine two already-established families. Expect you children to be stressed by your move and they will need a certain amount of time to accept the situation.
The bride and groom’s parents should be the next to be informed and then the respective ex’s. The ex-wife or ex-husband should make an effort to appease the children and reassure them about their roles in the new family.
Engagement rings from the past should not be worn anymore based on second wedding etiquette. All signs of previous relationships should be taken away once planning for the wedding and announcements are made.
A second marriage can be announced informally such as advertising it in the newspaper, making e-mails and phone calls. Under second wedding etiquette, the couple does not have to host an engagement party but a small gathering can be organized where you can make that important announcement.
Just about anybody can attend your second wedding. However, in observance of second wedding etiquette ex-spouses and former in-laws should not be invited even if you are in speaking terms to avoid awkwardness among the other guests.
The bride and groom should calculate a realistic budget for the wedding. This is a rare chance to again have the wedding of your dreams, it could be elegant, extravagant and intimate.
Vows and Ceremonies
Let your Ceremony reflect the combining of family. Include a Unity rite into your Ceremony to make it feel intimate and inclusive. There are even ways to include your wedding guests without going over the top, Your Officiant can help with that.
Second weddings can be Civil, Spiritual or Religious. They are many ways to make the ceremony fell very intimate and special. Writing promises to each other is a nice touch and there is an abundance of books written about it. Writing these promises from the heart is often the best route to take. It can be as simple as an observation or as elaborate as a full blown poem. The children can be assigned to do an important part of the ceremony in order to foster Unity. They can escort you while walking the aisle, read passages from the bible or serve as attendants in the event. Their participation should be comensurate with their ages.
The closest family members and friends of the new couple can walk down the aisle or no one at all.
Are Bridal Showers Needed?
Bridal showers for encore brides are normally but this need to adhere with second etiquette rules.
- Only guests should be invited
- Club, Office and school showers can also be done and can be attende by other not on the official guest list. However, those that attended the bride’s first wedding should not participate.
Wedding Gifts and Registry
Guest should make they register. Some guests will have the uncontrollable urge to give something even if the couple does not want gifts. It’s also acceptable for encore couples to sign in the gift registry.
Wedding Gift Ideas for Second Marriages
Gift certificates—restaurants, spas, stores
DVD player and DVDs
Coffee maker, pasta maker, cook books
Wedding Receptions and Parties
The reception of a second wedding may be extravagant or simple depending on the taste of the couple. The bride and groom will be first at the line and followed by their children. The traditional garter and bridal bouquet toss are optional.
Not Necessary In A Second Marriage
Accompanying the bride down the aisle
– Make a gift registry even if you don’t want gifts.<br><br>
– The children should have responsibilities in the ceremony.<br><br>
– Customize and personalize the wedding and reception.<br><br>
– Doing the same things as you did in your first wedding.
– Wearing a similar wedding dress.
– Marry in the exact spot of your first wedding.
– Use old rings from a past marriage.
– Criticizing former spouses
- Engagement Party
- Announcement in the newspaper
- Rehearsal Dinner
- A laving wedding with attendants
- Parents walking down the aisle
- A different color for the wedding dress instead of white