Ahhh, jumping the broom. It’s not for everyone, but it’s manageable if you have the right information. ‘It is clear from the relationship issues we have in our society, that none of us have all the answers. If we did, no one would need advice. However, as you contemplate tying the knot, take a moment to contemplate the essence of your relationship. Some of the same things that brought you together are necessary to keep you together, so don’t lose track of what they are. Love translates into many things; take the time to figure out what they are. Everyone, yes I said everyone, has needs. Do you know your partner’s primary needs for the relationship? If you have not discussed the deal breakers, you are heading for potholes on your path together. Deal with it sooner rather than later.
It’s so much easier to play the field while you’re single, instead of getting married and deciding you want to see a whole lot of other people. Seems like this would be easy to figure out, right? Well, apparently it’s not. Some people don’t realize the big mess they’ve created until it’s way too late and they’re unable to come back from it. Can you say: Alimony, monthly child-support payments and a second job to support yourself? Not to mention various sexually transmitted diseases, some fatal.
*Marry someone you are also friends with.
Declare to spend the rest of your life with someone who really likes you as a person, not just as a sexual partner. Sometimes, sex will be nonexistent for short periods of time (pregnancy, illness). If you and your better half like each other, as well as love each other, the foundation that was built on friendship will be more than enough to get you through those rough patches. Besides, being best friends with your spouse makes marriage so much more fun!
*Don’t put your spouse on a pedestal
Everyone makes mistakes, so leave room for plenty of them. If you’re looking for the perfect spouse and marriage you’re probably living in a fantasy world. Simple rules apply in our vows, but we all act a little human sometimes and vows become the hardest thing in the world to stick to. This is to be expected, so try not to come down too hard on your other half for not being a saint at all times and the two of you will be just fine.
*Leave the past in the past
Geez, are you still nagging about all those awful things that happened three years ago. Get over it. No one wants to hear the remix of how much of a jackass they used to be, especially when you all agreed to work it out and things are going great. If you just can’t stop bringing it up every five minutes, maybe it’s time to seek counseling. Otherwise, concentrate on the good things and push forward.
*Put your spouse and children first
Nothing is going to send you to divorce court faster than in-law drama. I know you want everyone to get along, but understand that you are not responsible for your mother, father or siblings happiness. Your main responsibility is to keep your house in order. If your parents and siblings can’t get with the program, be prepared to take a hiatus from them until they have learned to respect you and your mate. If something in them forbids them to do so, stay true to the one who really matters and that should be you. If you truly want a successful marriage, sometimes you have to learn to love from a distance.
*Never disrespect your home
You already know your family hates your husband/wife, so stop going to them and talking behind his or her back whenever you two have an argument. One, it just makes your family loathe your spouse even more and two, your marriage is on the wrong track if you’re pouring salt on your significant other. Also, keep your house a home by not having the wrong people coming and going. This is bad for any relationship, married or not. Keep the drama queen/king out of your house, they’re only looking to start trouble.
*Keep marital advice from someone who isn’t married to a minimum
Realistically, you probably shouldn’t take marital advice from someone who has never been married, just like you probably shouldn’t take childrearing advice from someone who doesn’t have kids. I know it sounds a little harsh, but it makes sense. Would you take flight instruction from someone who has never even had flight training? I wouldn’t. In my experience, my unmarried friends have never said anything that could help my marriage. (Sorry guys, I know you tried, but…) Personally, I like to seek advice from older, experienced couples. There is no better way to prepare for marital warfare, than to get guidance from someone who has already been in combat and survived.
*Support your husband or wife’s endeavors
Why do you shoot down every idea your sweetie comes up with? Will it really kill you to be supportive for once? No one will exist on a single thought for the rest of their lives. Realize that people grow and with growth comes change. It’s understandable your spouse has aspirations outside of going to work and paying bills. Is your opposing attitude holding him back from starting that small business? Are you laughing her away from her dream of becoming an actress? Be supportive of your life companion’s dreams because if it works out for them, it will really work out for you.
*Keep passion alive!
She used to wear sexy boy shorts while the two of you were dating, but since you’ve been married and had two children, all she’s worn to bed are her gigantic granny bloomers. He used to say something flattering to you every day, but now he barely notices you. These are common complaints and it can wreak havoc in a marriage. Life is busy and we all get weary from our day-to-day affairs, but just remember to take a little time out to spoil your spouse every once in a while. Let them know that you haven’t forgotten about them and you appreciate all of their efforts. Show them that you are still the person they fell in love with even though life can get in the way. Your partner will surely return the favor.
Talk to your spouse everyday about something other than the kids, the house, and the bills. Even if you don’t spend a lot of time in the house together, a cell phone will solve that problem. Be sure to get some time to yourselves; go out on a date every once in a while or just snuggle on the couch and talk about constructive things. In my opinion, communication is the key to a successful marriage. Who wants to spend the rest of their life with someone who won’t even talk? Who wants to have a disagreement, but not be able to discuss it intelligently? I’m a huge fan of heated discussions. At least we’re communicating; not going in a room, slamming the door and stewing for hours. Let’s hash it out, get it over with and make up. And who doesn’t like making up? Wink.
Don’t forget to:
*Pray! … for and with each other. Pray every day for your marriage, your home and children. Prayer can bring reassurance and ease your mind when things go haywire. Do you know what would be even better? Pray together. You already know the saying, “the family that prays together, stays together!”
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It is wedding season again and many couples have been anticipating making a commitment for the second or maybe third time in their lives.:
Before making another step in marrying again, are you ready to experience again the consequences of living again with someone?
First, you must review the performance you made in your previous marriage. You will ask to yourself, how could I be a better spouse? Why did our union end in divorce? What really went wrong? What weaknesses do I still need to work on? many questions remained in your first marriage. So you must able to answer first all unending questions before thinking to marry again.
Second, know what you’re really looking for in a partner. Be sure of the character traits you want. Don’t force yourself to settle down just because you’re lonely and in dire need of a companion. Finally, let time answer your questions. Enjoy your freedom, at least for a moment and give yourself much time in finding your potential mate before you say “I do” again.
In entering another chapter in your life, second marriage is a very challenging obligation for you. Many different things are about to change in your everyday life when you finally decided to remarry. Freedom will be lost again. You must be prepared forthe new responsibility you will take on.
For marrying the second time around, there are lots of things to consider for making it a successful one. There are many situations you must be able to fully understand in order to cope with the differences with your new spouse. These are the following:
•EXPECTATIONS FOR A HEALTHY MARRIAGE
In the beginning of the second marriage, problems will not occur instantly. As a new couple, you are savoring your new found love. However, too many expectations may arise when one is to demanding to the other. This can be fixed if you can tell what your limitations are and what you can only do.
•REALISTIC APPROACH OF LOVE
This can be the best thing ever happened to the second marriage. Love must blossom unconditionally with respect. Give and take-this is for the equal releasing of feelings.
•POSITIVE ATTITUDE AND OUTLOOK IN LIFE
It may not be perfect at all, but happy in what you have. Do not force yourself in giving just to ensure the happiness on your spouse. You must be contented with the abilities and capabilities of your partner. Encourage your partner in giving his/her best in any other way.
•COMMUNICATING ABOUT FEELINGS
You must be open to what you really feel. Have the time to talk. This can help in keeping the flame alive. Listen to your partner. In listening you get what he/she wants to relate.
•UNDERSTANDING AND ACCEPTING DIFFERENCES
You may not be able to do everything, Understanding and accepting weaknesses are part of marriage. Humans are not perfect, so they imake mistakes. You must respect the little things he/she does.
•MAKING DECISIONS AND SETTLING ARGUMENTS
These kinds of situations are very crucial. It can make or break the relationship. In making decisions you must tell what you’re thinking. Possibly, accept your partner’s opinion. Settle your arguments in due time. Arguments are really mind busters. This may create gaps in the relationship.
•COMMON SPIRITUAL FOUNDATION AND GOAL
It may be good if both of you believe in the same religion doctrine. It can avoid debates on what are the right beliefs. A dream of a perfect family is one common goal. This can be done if both are very cooperative and serious. It can be a good foundation in the years to come. This can be the guiding force of making a successful relationship.
•COMBINING A FAMILY
What if your new spouse has a child or children in his/her previous marriage? You must know at least step-parenting skills. You are dealing with the emotions of their new environment. Be good to them as they are also important to your spouse’s life. Accept them as you accepted your partner. Make them also one of your main priorities.
In committing your life again to someone, make sure that you are really serious and prepared. Sacrifice and true love must be your agenda for marriage so it’s not taken for granted.
Here is to hoping your second marriage ia a successful and fruitful one.
Best wishes ,good luck and Many Blessings…
A person’s wedding is one of the most memorable, important, and high points in an individual’s life. At a time when a man and a woman want to make the ultimate commitment to spend the rest of their lives together, the desire to have personalized vows is certainly understandable. This is one of the most unique and special days in a person’s life, so if you want to speak your own personal wedding vows or promises, than by all means, you should go for it!
Writing your own vows can be intimidating. Wedding days always add pressure to even the most mundane of tasks, and certainly writing the vows you want to say to your significant other in front of all your friends and family is no small matter! Still, don’t let fear cause you to go along with some basic commonly used wedding vows if you really want that personalized touch. Just follow a few basic tips, and this will help you be on your way to writing the tips your future spouse deserves!
- Write from the heart. Your wedding day represents the epitome of love between you and your future spouse. The two of you are together for a reason. Anything you write should be honest and from your heart, because that is what will really make your words special.
- You don’t have to be Robert Frost or Emily Dickinson. If you are a poet, great. Keep in mind, though, that in the end words are just words. Your wedding vows do not have to be an amazing classic piece of literature—they need to be an honest display of your feelings for the other person. Don’t use long poetical words if all it does is put distance between your words and your feelings.
- It’s okay to brainstorm. Before you set down to write everything, make a list of the things about your spouse that you absolutely love about your spouse, then make a list of the commitments you want to make. Figure out what parts of those lists you really want to include (keep in mind the vows are read in front of families and friends) and keep those.
- Short and Sweet. It doesn’t take many words or a lot of time to make your heart known to everyone present. A lot can be said in a really short time, so don’t feel like you have to make the vows any longer than they naturally come out.
Follow these four tips, and you’ll find yourself getting over your worries to write some great wedding vows that your spouse will love!
A good advice for making a wedding romantic and truly special is to make the ceremony debt-free and low-key as possible. Couples should save their money and not pay much attention to wedding advices features in magazines. Love is basically between the couple that will be getting married so its best they focus on each other.
A morning wedding followed by a luncheon reception is ideal, as it will give the couple enough time for their honeymoon, starting a new life and have enough energy to perform immediate post-wedding activities. Over 200 guests waiting at an expensive sit-down dinner will not add anything special to the romance.
A morning wedding will also help the couple save money and their eager energy and more than half a day to savor the moment of finally getting hitched.
Etiquette in a morning wedding
A morning wedding can be formal, semi-formal or informal. The bride can be outfitted with a short wedding dress or suit. In a formal morning wedding, the bride’s gown should touch the floor and veil fingertip or slightly below the middle knuckle of the mid finger. A fingertip veil becomes more attractive when it is used with an elbow length blusher. For a semi-formal morning wedding, the gloves and blusher veils are optional.
The groom’s attire is typically composed of a business, sportcoat or morning suit in accordance to the level of formality. In a semi-formal morning wedding, proper etiquette dictates that the groom can sport a dark stroller or suit without black or gray tails. In a formal wedding, a morning suit, which is composed of gray pinstripe trousers, ascot, gray vest and a cutaway coat, is suffice. The groom also has the option to wear a tuxedo if he wants to.
The groom and bride’s attire should complement each other. If the bride is wearing a casual short wedding dress, then the groom should wear a business suit or sportcoat instead of a tuxedo.
Regardless whether the wedding is during the morning or late in the evening, there is a certain etiquette that should be followed in the ceremony.
- Bridesmaids and groomsmen should assist in the ceremonies if the morning wedding is not held strictly in private.
The bridesmaids should not have dresses that is not too eye-catching but will match the wedding dress. In addition, they should be younger than the bride. The dresses can contain more ornaments and should consist of light, graceful fabric. Flowers should serve as the main decoration.
The wedding dress should be simple but elegant and can be decorated with few ornaments or jewels that come from the parents or the bridegroom. The dress needs to have an attractive veil and garland.
The bride needs to be assisted by her bridesmaids in wearing the wedding dress, receiving visitors and locate themselves at her left side. The first bridesmaid for easy access should keep the bouquet and gloves.
The clergyperson or officiant should be received by the groomsmen and led to the couple that will be married. They will also serve as assistants for the bridegroom, during the occasion.
You can also get married at our chapel at a convenient time to make it to the wedding breakfast venue.
Guests should wear something light and fresh. A breezy dress or a light-colored suit would be appropriate. Those who are fond of hats are in luck in a morning wedding, as wearing one will complement the ease and energy of the ceremonies. Dark suits and dresses should be avoided.
The Wedding Breakfast
If the bride appears during breakfast proper etiquette dictates that she sits beside her husband at the center table, while the father and mother occupy the top to bottom and greets the guests coming in. Once the cake has been cut and every one has eaten, which include offering a toast to the new couple and giving acknowledgements, the bride and groom meet with their friends and eventually exit from the ceremony.
The newly-married couple can start in their wedding journey at around two or three o’clock, while the rest of the guests and family member depart from the reception area shortly after.