Your wedding day was meant to be the one true day where the world revolves around you – at least that what we grow up thinking, imagining the whole Cinderella ball with our dream dress and Prince Charming.
Unfortunately, what often happens is a bride allows too many cooks in the kitchen and suddenly it’s someone else’s dream coming true and the wedding day dream is dashed.
It’s not your fault. Planning a wedding (even if you have the help of a professional wedding planner) is a daunting task. You have to think of yourself, your guests, your wedding party, the vendors, expenses, and a slew of other things for your wedding day.
You need help – a bride can’t do it all herself and keep her sanity. But sometimes, others will cross the line and almost intimidate you into doing what they want – not what you wanted for your special wedding day.
Maybe it’s a pushy wedding planner talking you out of every decision you had planned for the last 15 years since you were a teenager. Or it might be your own dear mom – shaking her head and frowning when you tell her you want a trendy colorful wedding dress instead of traditional white on your wedding day walk down the aisle.
It can take all of the pleasure out of planning your wedding day when other people disapprove of your plans. But you have to bolster yourself against the frenzy of opinions that will be bombarding you and learn how to do it without getting yourself worked up.
If you wind up with a professional who isn’t allowing you to express your creative dreams, think about finding another one – or have a heart to heart with her and let her know that you appreciate the expertise she brings to the table, but you know what you want on your wedding day and you just need her help carrying it out. She won’t want to lose a client – so when you state it flatly, with a smile on your face – she should step in line.
What often happens, though, is that a family member or friend becomes the overbearing element in your wedding day planning – and you feel awful at the thought of having to put them in their place. You worry that feelings will get hurt or even worse – an argument will ensue – and this is supposed to be the happiest time of your life!
Here’s how to deal with overbearing family members: “Mom, can we talk a minute? You know I respect and value your opinion more than anything in the world. But ever since I was a kid, I’ve had this idea in my head of how exciting it would be to plan my wedding day. I know you’re probably able to spot all of the errors I’m making, so I know it’s frustrating for you when I go my own direction, but I really need your support so we can just have fun doing this without arguing over the details.”
Mom should realize she’s being a damper on your planning process, but if she doesn’t, simply smile at her, kiss her on the cheek, and say, “Well don’t be mad if do this my own way!” and then go on about your business getting everything ready for your wedding day the way you wanted it. If she continues butting in during the planning process, just smile and say, “I appreciate your advice, but I’m going to go with my idea.”
Some people may just love to argue. If you encounter someone who won’t let it die and wants to ruin your wedding day plans, then you need to keep away from that person as much as possible while you carry out your dreams. Yes, it’s heart-wrenching, but this is your wedding day – not theirs. Treat yourself right and enjoy picking that red wedding dress or blue bouquet!